Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thank You Today Tonight! - (Moopy Rant)

I was lucky enough to see some of the breaking news on Today Tonight’s program this evening. If you thought you’d seen it all after the exhilarating segment about the wonders of shopping on something I believe they call the “int-er-net”, brace yourself.

What came next was possibly one of the most informing viewing I have ever seen. There were 3 “experts” (they even did the walk! through big glass doors with wind blowing in their hair – definitely experts) who were speaking of the troubles we face as a customer these days. Aghhhh...Customer service...you just can’t get the service you need these days!

Fear not! These ladies on Today Tonight had the answer!!

It’s all about the face. Next time you’re out buying your next TV or toaster – just check out the facial features of the sales assistant! There are simple rules – Want to get a good run down about how the product works? Well then look out for the “straight up and down” forehead – apparently these vast head spaces equate to logical thinking personalities. Looking for a bargain? Well then look out for a giant bottom lip – those kinds of people are “spontaneously generous”. You get the idea – easy right? Well, I am confused Today Tonight. What if, the person has a “personal service” scooped nose AND a big lip?! What am I to do then Today Tonight, WHAT AM I TO DO THEN??!!

Perhaps it is featured in the book of these expert women frustrated at the lack of service these days. Turns out they are experts – as they themselves used to be sales assistants and this “face mapping” (it’s got a name – so now I am quite sure it is scientific) was training that they received to assess customers! But now the tables have turned and we can get our own back by knowing which sales assistant to target! Ingenious!!

Seriously? If this is the type of training they received as sales assistants, perhaps that explains the lack of good service in the world.

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